Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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