I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
In other news, I just burned my penis
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