If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
