i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
