atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I need moral support for this bender
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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