I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
