you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
