Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Buhtt sex?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
