Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
not ubering you a puppy
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