Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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