He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
