why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
