Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
