Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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