wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
