Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
