Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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