I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i think my cat just said my name.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
