he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
