You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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