Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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