Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
