I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
