he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
