I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
