I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
