My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
