have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
