Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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