All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
