How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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