Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
