You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I can't turn off my feet"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
