I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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