i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
