Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
