i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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