can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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