Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
