i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
this will be a night to untag.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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