Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
