his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
