you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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