They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
