it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
