i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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