Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
this just has baby written all over it
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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