i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
