So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
