i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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