If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
